Midsummer's Nightmare
by Sarcasma
Summary: Sixth year was supposed to be amazing. Lily's disappointed and ready to start fresh, James is hopeful, and Severus desperately wants to make amends. All three see their chance to achieve their own desires when Madame Bouche decides it's time for a play! L
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One- Flabbergasted

Six months ago Lily thought she couldn't wait until this year of school. Sixth year seemed like an ideal year at Hogwarts. The stress of O.W.L.s would be over and the N.E.W.T.s weren't exactly upon them. Even the classes that she still had would be more specific to her own interests. She could finally drop Transfigurations, focus on Potions and Charms, and maybe have a little extra time for fun reading.

Of course there had been one other benefit. But that was gone now. Gone with one word that—if said by anyone but Severus Snape—meant nothing to Lily. After all, Lily had alwaysconsidered the term 'mudblood' as a rather un-clever slang. She supposed the incident built up over the last couple years, but it didn't make the word any less hurtful as it fell off her best friend's lips.

Now the success of O.W.L.s seemed pointless as she made her way to platform 9 ¾, blowing kisses to her parents. Petunia sat in the car, as she refused to come say goodbye at all this year. This didn't improve Lily's mood as she pulled her trunk along.

She scanned the platform. Hero Goodwin and Bethany Read were giggling as they waved at some Ravenclaw seventh year passing by. He gave a winning smile and turned just the right angle to show the Head Boy badge flashing from his chest. Lily shook her head. Certainly they were both nice enough. Hero and Bethany always included Lily in whatever they were doing. Whether it was because she was their dorm mate or they genuinely liked her, Lily didn't know, but it didn't matter so long as she had some company.

Several first years stood frozen with fear as they watched the busy platform with people passing in and out. The veterans of the school kept going, finding their friends, loading their trunks, and trying to keep pets under control.

Lily just kept going. There wasn't anyone to say hello that she could see, so she continued onto the train, waiting for the prefects compartment to fill, both anticipating and dreading the company who would come.

Almost everyone was in before Remus entered, dropping down into the seat next to hers. "Hey," he said breathlessly, looking more worn than usual. Lily thought it strange he should look so right after a vacation. Certainly he couldn't have pulled long nights to study over the summer.

"How are you doing?" Lily asked, putting down the book her mum had bought her to read for the train ride.

"Couldn't be better," he said, leaning back.

"O.W.L.s results were good then?"

Remus nodded. "The only damper was the James got just as many without much studying."

Lily nodded and smiled. This is why she could handle Lupin better than the others, though Peter wasn't so bad. Remus could look at his friends objectively. Though they were still close, he could see they weren't all everyone made them out as. At the same time he was fiercely loyal to all of them—something Lily couldn't comprehend, but respected none the less. "What about Black?"

"He got nine. Not that it matters much to him. What about you?"

They continued to make small talk while more people frantically hurried on as the clock neared eleven. One of the last people to slink in was Severus. Lily stiffened as he looked towards her, head hanging. The last time she'd seen him was at the start of summer. He'd come to talk to her, apologize, but there were certain wrongs that would never be made right.

Lily waited to see what he would do, but instead of giving her more than a glance, Severus went to sit next to his fellow Slytherin prefects. It was amazing to watch someone transform in an instant. Severus' face moved so smoothly from sullen to sneer, Lily was sure if she hadn't been paying attention she would have missed it.

"Lily," Remus was saying. "Lily, you okay?"

She swallowed and smiled at Remus. "Fine," she said.

* * *

James waited, his knees bouncing as he sat. This was it. This was his year. His Captain's badge sat wrapped in the folds of one of his robes. When Moony brought back Lily, he wasn't going to look arrogant. He wasn't going to talk about himself the entire time. He _was_ going to sweep her right off her feet. It was as good as done.

"James, James, come look at this," Sirius said, waving him to the window. "Look at that first year trying to lift the trunk."

James looked out the window. There was a little first year, pulling a trunk while his feet were planted on the first step of the entrance to the Hogwarts Express. He chortled and fell back into his spot. "This is going to be a great year," Sirius said, putting his hands behind his head. "More free time, less classes," he continued on, listing all the benefits of being a sixth year. "And no more parents trying to push their damn agenda on me."

James smiled. "So you're still aiming to be the Black sheep?" It might be an old, predictable joke, but the classics never seemed to die.

"You got it." Sirius smiled and leaned back as if to sleep. "Nothing could go wrong this year. I need to send your mum a thank you sometime though. Don't let me forget."

One more thing to add to Sirius's unofficial to do list. Of course Sirius had thanked both James' parents over and over during this last week. He'd even helped James' mum with the dishes on Thursday. "How long do you think the meeting will take?" James asked.

"Lily won't come," Sirius practically sang. He'd been telling James this for close to a month now.

"Moony can do it," James said. "She likes Moony better than the rest of us."

"Maybe she should date Moony, then."

James gave Sirius a strong kick just as Peter opened the door. "Hi," he said, his eyes darting back and forth. James suspected Wormtail hoped he wouldn't be the next target for James' foot.

"Hey, Pettigrew," James said, tossing him a chocolate frog. "How were your scores?"

"I got six O.W.L.s," Peter muttered, his tone rather pathetic.

"Oh- ho," Sirius said, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together. "I won."

"I don't think so Padfoot. Remus guessed seven."

"I guessed five," Sirius protested as Peter struggled to push his trunk up. "Anyway, you guessed four, so I beat you."

James bought a round of treats for everyone when the cart came by, even though the stockpile his mum sent wasn't nearly done. Peter droned on about his summer, Sirius interjecting on occasion as James checked his watch every two minutes.

By the time Remus returned-- alone-- to the compartment, the pile of wrappers nearly rivaled those of the food left.

"And then there were four," Sirius interrupted Peter's story about his visit to Grandma Pettigrew's.

"Where's Lily?" James asked.

"Good to see you too," Remus said.

"I mean it Moony. You said you'd get her to sit with us." He couldn't care less that his voice was at a bit of a whine. Lily was supposed to be here, being impressed at how much he'd matured over the summer.

"I told you I'd try. She was going to see if there were any free compartments, but they all looked full on my way here." Remus shook off his jacket and sat across from Peter, taking the first chocolate in sight. "So maybe she'll be back 'round," he added after taking a large bite of the frog.

"Yeah, maybe," James sighed. He stared out the window, watching the landscape blur as the train picked up speed. The others laughed and talked about classes, anticipating their year. James just sat, trying to think of a new plan.

* * *

Lily went searching. One thing was certain, she did not want to spend the rest of the ride with Potter and his little gang. She peeked into a spot which was full of Hufflepuffs. Maybe she could just patrol the halls the entire trip. Maybe one of the other prefects would like a break.

As she turned to take the other direction down the hall someone was right there. Lily gasped and caught herself as Severus looked embarrassed. "Sorry," he said. The gloomy expression on his face was back as he peeked out the top of his eyes, his long hair half blocking his view.

Lily took a deep breath and went to step around him. He sidestepped, blocking her way. "Wait, please. I wanted to talk to you," he pleaded. "I-I just thought… I saved us a compartment up front."

She felt her eyebrows raise. "Oh, so we could be away from your friends?"

Severus almost smiled. His eyes filled with hope and Lily almost felt sorry for him. "Right, exactly. They won't bother us there."

With a wrenching of her heart, Lily shook her head. "But think of the torture they'll put you through when they find out. Wouldn't want them to know you'd been with someone like me," she stepped to his other side, squeezing past when she felt his fingers wrap around his upper arm.

Lily just looked down at his hand, once a kind hand towards her. He had been her friend since before she even knew what Hogwarts was and still he was more concerned about what the Muggle-haters thought. She gave him a stern glance, waiting for him to let go. Once he did, she started to walk down the train's corridor. "Better wash your hands before they realize you've been meddling with filth," she shouted over her shoulder.

Lily waited until she found the empty compartment she could only assume Severus had found for the two of them before she began to cry. No… this year wasn't going to be anything like what she had hoped for.

* * *

As usual, Dumbledore stood to speak as the dessert disappeared. Lily scooped the last of her chocolate and peanut butter pie into her mouth before it too was gone.

The first years had gathered towards her like chicks to their mother hen during the course of the meal. Remus had divided his attention between his whispering friends and helping her answer questions to ease the new students' minds. Lily thought she might be paranoid, but she could have sworn James kept looking and nodding towards her while the four trouble makers conspired.

Dumbledore continued on through the warnings and information while a blonde boy who had just been sorted to Gryffindor seemed to go green as a couple fourth years whispered something about the Forbidden Forrest. "And lastly, I'd like to introduce Madame Bouche, who will be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

A woman in pink, floral print robes stood to give a little wave. There were little whispers and Bethany gave a small squeal from nearby. "What?" Lily asked.

"She's an actress," Hero replied as Bethany craned around Henry Groud-- a handsome boy in their year.

"Not just any actress," Bethany corrected. "She usually tours with the WRT."

"The what?" Lily asked.

"The Wizarding Rep Theatre," Bethany said. "They tour world wide and sometimes do shows on the wireless."

Lily never ceased learning more about this world. Perhaps because she lead a Muggle life when at home. She could always have Hero and Bethany fill her in later. Looking back up to the tables, Madame Bouche was blinking long black lashes out to the crowd as people still whispered through Dumbledore's introduction. "Madame Bouche feels we should also allow for some culture in our humble halls and has therefore decided to start a play to be performed just before the Christmas Holidays. There will be posters announcing auditions for those interested.

"And with that, I must leave you with one last word to fill your thoughts tonight: flabbergasted."

Many of the students looked confused. Most ignored it as they stood and stretched before exiting. This was a game for Lily, though. It was like there were little messages in his words. "Alright, follow us," she told the young first years as Remus took the back of the line. Her mind shuffled as she thought of the word. _Flabbergasted... surprised... taken off guard. _"Watch this step," Lily warned to the group behind her.

_School is full of surprises. We might just find ourselves _flabbergasted_ with our experiences._ She was pleased with her conclusion as they reached the portrait hole. She raised a brow to Remus who informed the group the password was _"bubbles"_. He went red in the face while the other students shuffled in.

"James put you up to it," Lily said. It wasn't a question, though Remus did give a slight shrug of confirmation.

The previous year, James thought it greatly humerous to fill the girls' bathroom with hundreds of thousands of enchanted bubbles. It took everything she had not to curse him on the spot. Instead-- after drafting Hero and Bethany to help-- she concentrated on popping each of the tiny suds with a pricking spell Flitwick had taught them. The work had been tedious. James tried to apologize after, of course. _"If I'd known you would have to deal with it..." _Pathetic. And now he found it a real kick in the pants to remind them of his little joke.

As Lily climbed through she found herself surprised-- even flabbergasted-- that James Potter stood, waiting for them. He definitely wasn't going for subtle this year. "Hey, Lily," James said, stepping in sync with her. "Did you need help unpacking?"

"Boys can't get to the girls dormitories," she reminded him. Just before she stepped to the stairs, James headed her off.

"I'm not like other _boys_," he smiled at her. "In which I use the term loosely, of course."

Lily smiled and tilted her head. "Oh really?" she asked. James nodded. Lily stepped closer and whispered, "So you can come up to my room at any time?"

James' smile increased. "You know it," he said. He leaned in towards her, his arm resting against the wall.

"So... if I ever needed someone to... help me--"

"I'm there for you, babe."

Lily reached out and started to mess with his tie. "So I guess it's a good thing I know about three dozen curses that could keep you from ever having children, then." Just as James began to look unsure of himself Lily tightened the knot on his tie, making him choke as she stomped up the stairs.

* * *

A/N: This is going to end up a play within a play (kind of like my Guys and Dolls, only with the Marauder era and hopefully better written.) I'm extremely busy and don't know how much time I will have to post, but I'll put out there what I've promised with my other WIP… if I get ten reviews after any one chapter (even if those reviews are for other chapters) I will do my darndest to post the next chapter within a week! Fair enough? This chapter is kind of depressing I know, but I tend to go for the humorous, so don't fear.


	2. Grasping Straws

Chapter 2- Grasping Straws

After the first week everyone was getting used to their new schedules. Lily woke up, gathered her books for the day and started to brush through her hair, ticking off a mental to do list. A paper for Charms, a chapter of potions needed to be read for tomorrow, and there were at least three books she needed to check out for various projects. The workload was alright. Lily even enjoyed most of her classes. She was starting to see she might not be cut out for Herbology and considered going in to talk to McGonagall about dropping it. Defense Against the Dark Arts…well, what were they supposed to expect with a teacher who made a profession in drama?

Madame Bouche was a plump woman who wore robes which must have been from skinnier days. She always had a bright pink shade of lipstick and loved to hear her own voice. She would run class more like a series of acting exercises. Yesterday she'd had the entire class imagine the emotions of encounter with a vampire. "Shut your eyes," Madame Bouche said in a quivering tone as she did the same. "Imagine the cold hand, his claws, the pounding of your heart…"

Lily didn't see how it could help, but Bethany and Hero were absolutely beside themselves with admiration. "Isn't she amazing," they would gush in the dormitory. "It's like getting to face the Dark Arts without actually having to face them," Bethany chimed in.

Lily found it best during these times to keep her mouth firmly shut. As if thinking of her dorm mates summoned them, Hero and Bethany came in, both hunched over a piece of paper. "…from _Romeo and Juliet?_" Hero asked Bethany.

Bethany nodded and they both fell into a fit of giggles. "What on Earth is so entertaining?"

"They just posted auditions," Hero handed Lily the bright pink paper they'd been reading. "Two weeks to figure out what we're to do. I wanted to go with some comedic monologue—"

"But I'd rather show some dramatic flair," Bethany interrupted, swooning back onto her bed, arm posed over her forehead. "It says you can audition with a partner. Do you think I could get Sirius to do the balcony scene with me?" She sat up, her feet dangling, ankles crossed.

"Does the Whomping Willow sting?" Lily put away her hair brush. "I wouldn't waste your time on him. He likes going from girl to girl."

"Yes, well I haven't exactly been singly devoted myself, have I?" Bethany jumped up, her reflection soon right behind Lily's. "Not like our sweet, innocent sugar cookie."

Lily scoffed while Hero giggled. "I am not a sugar cookie," Lily protested.

"Sure you are," Hero jumped in. "Which would make Bethany Devil's food cake—" Lily laughed this time while Bethany looked scandalized.

"And you would be fudge brownies," Bethany accused.

"Fudge brownies?" Lily asked.

"Oh yes," Bethany danced around the room. "So very sinful."

This was the type of distraction Lily had wanted for days. Something fun to make her side ache with laughter as Bethany chased Hero around the room, threatening to turn her hair into brownie crumbs. The only discouragement was that it was just for the moment. If Severus was still around she would run down to meet up for breakfast, telling him about the entire conversation. He might call her sugar cookie in a note or bring her a brownie for lunch. The joke would go on and on. In fifteen minutes Bethany and Hero would be onto their own inside jokes and the fun of the morning would be gone. Then Lily would just be Lily again, set to the tasks of the day.

"So what do you think you'll do?" Hero asked Lily. "Humorous or Dramatic?"

"Me?" Lily held onto the laugh for a little longer at least. "I don't act."

"Oh, come on, " Bethany chimed in. "Most of the people auditioning don't act. Besides—" she picked up Lily's latest novel "—with how much you read I'll bet you know Shakespeare backwards and forwards."

Maybe not backwards and forwards, but it had been a favorite of Lily's mother. She would read it to them and take them to plays all the time. "It's not really my cup of tea," Lily shrugged.

Bethany wouldn't let it drop. "James Potter is auditioning," her sing-song tone rang out with the raising of her eyebrows.

"Oh goody," Lily said sarcastically, the other two laughed. "If there were any reason not to participate, that's the perfect one. " She shut her drawer and picked up her book bag. "And with that, adieu my thespian friends."

She heard them go back to monologues and talking about what part they were desperate to get. Lily figured she had too much on her plate already. School and prefect duties were enough to fill her day. She would much prefer to spend her free time with a good novel instead of memorizing lines.

Tripping down the stairs, Lily hoped there would be French toast for breakfast. The common room was nearly empty. Bethany and Hero went to breakfast early because of a few other early risers of the male population. One Hufflepuff in particular who Hero had her eyes on.

The only two, sitting near the fireplace, were one of the first year boys and James Potter. Not that she could see James' face. He was turned, leaning forward with his signature messy hair. Lily took quiet steps, making sure he wasn't getting the boy into trouble.

"I missed my mum too," James said. Lily thought that odd. "It's hard being away from home for the first time."

Lily looked to the boy. She could see that his eyes were red now. He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Every year there were a few who had a difficult time adjusting to school and dorms. Even this year Lily had her own challenges in adjusting. She hadn't done a lot of consoling, though the first year girls seemed to have become friends and were enjoying themselves. "When did you stop? You know… missing home?"

James shrugged and eased back in his chair. Lily stayed half hidden by a column. "I don't know. I found a few really good friends, got busy with classes, and we would sometimes play Quidditch." James clapped his hands together. "That's it, Quidditch. We don't have spots for first years, but if you'd like to be equipment manager, I'd be happy to exchange your time for some flying knowledge."

The boy looked like someone had just given him a thousand Galleons. "Really? You'll teach me how to play Quidditch?"

"Sure, why not?" James said. "But for now it's time for grub. You up for it?" Lily moved to where the column would completely conceal her. The boy agreed with excitement and the portrait hole soon opened and then sounded shut. Lily walked out, thinking it a wonder that James Potter might be good for at least one person here.

* * *

James sat beside Sirius at the Gryffindor table. The first year Nigel Cloward sat next to him. Sirius gave him a questioning look. "I'll tell you later. What's for breakfast?"

They all were digging in, James asking for more ideas on how to impress Lily. Sirius and Remus had convinced James to audition for the upcoming play. Sirius told him they were sure she would and it would surely impress her if he were quoting Shakespeare. That was a while away, still. He had to win her over sooner rather than later. The end of this year and all of the next she would be swamped with studying for exams and N.E.W.T.s and they never saw each other over the summer. Now or never, he figured. If he could only get to show her he was a good guy. Upstanding. Captain of the Quidditch team. Desirable. Maybe he could get a few girls to pretend they liked him.

"You think they might have a ball this year?" Remus asked. "Maybe if they had a ball you could ask Lily."

"Good idea," James said. "Hey Nigel, why don't you have a few more strips of bacon."

He piled them onto Nigel's plate for him as Lily walked into the room, carrying an armful of books. "I'll be back," James informed his friends and practically ran down the aisles between tables. He bumped someone, but kept going until he reached Lily.

"Hey," he greeted, trying out a smile he'd seen his dad sport in a picture from thirty years ago. James' mum talked about how charming that smile had been. "Let me help you with those." He tried to take the stack from Lily, but she just shrugged him off.

"I was just going to set these down here, thank you," she said as she placed them at the end of the table nearest the exit.

"I saved you a place down with us, though," James tried.

"Which is something I never asked you to do." Lily sat, taking some hash browns, sausage and a piece of toast while muttering something about never having French toast.

James tried not to growl in frustration as he sat across from her. Sirius was starring down towards them, but Sirius could wait. This was important. "So there's a trip to Hogsmeade in two weeks," he attempted.

"And?"

James ran his fingers through his hair. "I figured you could go with me."

"Oh did you?" Lily looked amused. James did the crooked grin thing.

"Yeah… now that you've dropped the grease can you'll finally have a shot at some descent company."

Lily's expression was no longer one of amusement, but one of disgust. She pushed her plate away. "Aren't you going to finish?" James asked as she resituated her books.

"No, I've suddenly lost my appetite." There was a quiver in her voice. She stood, picking up her things. James followed her out into the corridor.

"Wait, just wait a minute." James cut her off. She rolled her eyes and stood there. "Sorry… you know… for the grease thing."

"Sure," Lily tried to step by him.

"Does that mean you'll go with me to Hogsmeade?"

Lily scoffed turning around. "You think that was the only thing which stopped me from saying yes was your disgusting comments about someone I was friends with?"

James was confused. "Uh… yeah."

"I wouldn't go on a date with you if I were offered all the gold in Gringotts," Lily said. Her eyes were narrowing and her brows furrowed. "When I walked in you knocked into Patty Day, ignored Richard Truman when he tried to say hello, and as we left you let the door shut on a Ravenclaw girl whose hands were more full than mine."

"What does that have to do with Hogsmeade?"

"My parents always said they wanted me to find a gentleman," Lily said. "And you are no gentleman."

Lily managed to step on the first stair before James had overcome his shock at such an accusation. "Hold it Evans," he said, chasing after Lily. "What do you mean I'm not a gentleman?"

"First of all," Lily continued to climb the stairs. "Gentlemen don't call a lady by her last name. Unless of course it's proceeded with 'Miss', which is out of date."

"Fine, Lily."

"And a gentleman cares about a variety of people, instead of just the one person they're trying to impress."

"I'm nice to Sirius and Peter and—"

"Or to just the people they like."

They stood at the top of the staircase, looking at each other. The expression on Lily's face was clear. _Your move._

"Fine," James said. "What if I can show you I can be a gentleman? Can I get a date for Hogsmeade?"

Lily tilted her head. "No comments about Severus."

"Yeah, I think I can lay off the slimeball for two weeks."

Lily turned to go. James grabbed her upper arm. "Fine, fine," he said. "I'll lay off Severus."

"Good," Lily said. Her eyes sized him up."This should be interesting."

James was thinking it should be cake. What was she thinking, telling him he wasn't a gentleman? Still, he had a plan now. He knew exactly how to get her on a date, and if he could get her on a date, he could take it up a notch. By Halloween they'd be Hogwart's happiest couple.

The smells of bacon came back as James made his way quickly down the stairs. His friends and Nigel were all waiting when he got back. Nigel seemed to blend right into the group. Like a little mascot. "I can get a date," James said, rubbing his hands together while he sat.

"Really?" Sirius asked.

"Don't act so surprised. My charm and charisma go a long way."

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance. Peter was nodding in agreement. He knew he had always liked Peter. "What's the catch," Remus asked.

James told them about the conversation with Lily and her vague requirements. "What does she mean, gentleman?" This from Sirius.

James took a deep breath. "I don't know… but I was hoping you could get Bethany to help."

* * *

Severus watched, his eyes narrowed as James Potter moved towards Lily. _His_ Lily. Merlin, this was all wrong. So very, very wrong. She should have talked to him on the train. Before that. She should have forgiven him this summer. His friends weren't worse than Potter and the mutts surrounding him. If she would forgive him, though, he'd drop them. Well, most of them. If she understood what the Dark Lord was building, the prejudice he would stop. Her status would be elevated and no one would ever be able to call her mudblood again. Including him. Not that he'd ever be tempted to let that word slip again. Not to her.

He looked over to the Gryffindor table again. Potter wouldn't leave her alone. If only he could go over there, use Sectumsempra he would. The professors were still dotting the head table, though. The last thing he needed was his father to be notified of anything at school and that was one way to find himself under his father's hand. Father. What a damned, stupid word.

"Snape," someone was demanding his attention in a harsh whisper. He turned to see Goyle, his big fat face a foot from his own. "Snape, meeting tonight. Third floor hideout."

Severus nodded, turning back to watch Lily only to find her and Potter vanished. He could feel the heat rising to his face while he attempted to calm his pounding head. _She's gone off to study… she doesn't like Potter… she knows he's a git…_

But none of it helped. Because she thought he was a git too.

* * *

A/N: Hope you all like this chapter. Just a reminder, 10 reviews equals a new chapter in a week. That's ten reviews in any chapter. So... there are three now... if I get 13 total you'll get another chapter. YAY! The next one should get fun.


	3. Audition

Chapter 3- The Audition

Severus heard she was auditioning. The play was to be the event of the school year, if Madame Bouche were to be heeded. Most of the Slytherins felt it was a waste of time. Everyone knew that Shakespeare was a blood traitor after all, marrying a mudblood and selling his works among muggles, living as one of them. A few girls still liked the idea of auditioning and working with a famous actress. If they were dating, their boyfriends would go along with it.

"Julie is not playing opposite no Gryffindor," Jacob Duffner proclaimed when met with sneers from his dorm mates. It was only because Newman Grad—seventh year prefect and house favorite—was auditioning that this didn't become an all out war in Slytherin house.

Still, Severus didn't feel like justifying himself to the rest of his friends. Even if he didn't get in, he had to try. If he could get in the play with Lily, she would have to spend time with him. She would have to acknowledge him and perhaps that would lead to something more. The posters announced that the first cast meeting would be at Hogsmeade.

The whole affair played out in his head as he walked down to the auditorium that had been installed. He could have sworn this door used to lead to a broom closet. Now it was a mess of sheets over chairs that were bolted to the floor, lining a large expanse, which ended in a wooden floor that Snape figured must be the stage. He'd never actually seen a stage. He remembered Lily telling him all about a ballet she'd been two a few Christmases ago. She had described her excitement, her eyes going wide and beautiful, as they always did when she enjoyed something.

Snape stayed in the shadows, avoiding all the other students who were making exclamations about the floating spotlight and the blood red curtains.

James Potter walked in, staring at a paper in his hands, even as several girls waved to him. He muttered to himself.

Snape could feel his face fill with blood and fury. James Potter heard that Lily was auditioning and was joining in. He started to feel for his wand as the doors burst open. Madame Bouche sauntered in, a star struck Hufflepuff followed close behind, weighed down with bags and holding a clipboard. "Welcome, welcome to the theatre," she said. There was a mixture of polite clapping, enthusiastic applause, and mutterings.

Snape watched more students come in just behind Madame Bouche, Snape and Lily's friend Bethany were two of them. She giggled as Black grabbed her hand, dragging her down the aisle where Hero sat. He hated the whole lot of them. He couldn't wait until the day when their kind were gone. Obliterated.

There would just be him and Lily. Lily… where was she? Snape started to look around the room, scanning the rows of students. Where could she be?

* * *

"Hero," James whispered as Madame Bouche started on one of her lectures about the grandness of theatre. He was pretty sure he'd heard it a dozen times already. "Hero… where's Lily?"

Hero leaned forward and shook her head from side to side. She wasn't coming. Lily wasn't going to be here. And he'd worked so hard at memorizing his monologue!

Madame Bouche was now going through the audition list, calling up students one at a time. First a Ravenclaw, then a couple of Hufflepuffs, another Ravenclaw…

James sank into his chair. He might as well leave, all the good this would do.

Bethany and Sirius were sitting next to him, Bethany in Sirius's lap. "What's wrong, James," she asked. "Nervous?"

Sirius—who James figured didn't realize he was there until Bethany said something—looked over. "Scared Potter?"

"Come off it," James said, pushing forward and leaning on his knees.

"I was just playing with you, no reason to get all sulky," Sirius said.

James let out a groan. "I'm out of here."

"No wait," said Hero from his other side. She's moved over when the couple from Hufflepuff went on stage. "You can't just leave now."

"But Lily isn't even doing the bloody show," he said. "What a waste—"

"That's not the point," Bethany said. "The point is that _you're_ in it."

James looked at her, his interest piqued. "It is?"

"Of course it is," Hero and Bethany said simultaneously.

James looked between the two of them. "Why?"

Hero rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "You're in a play. Lily loves this sort of thing. Even if she's not in it, she'll come to watch. She'll need to cheer for someone."

"But Remus will probably get the lead, not me."

"Mate, do you see him here?"

James looked around. He hadn't even noticed. Peter—to no one's surprise—wasn't auditioning, but this was the sort of thing Remus lived for. Was it too much to ask for not having that competition?

"He'll be going home for Christmas early," Bethany said, looking at Sirius. "Isn't that what he said?"

"Uh, yeah," Sirius thought then looked back to James. "Come on. You can't leave me here all by my lonesome."

"What about me?" Bethany protested, and the two of them were back in their own little world.

"Stick it out, James," Hero said, then sat back, applauding who ever had finished.

James joined in, taking a deep breath. After three more auditions (two from first years who Sirius swore may have wet themselves), a fifth year boy from Ravenclaw did a great job, followed by a Ravenclaw and then Sirius and Bethany and at last, James was up.

He left the paper at his chair, his mind trying to remember exactly how he saw the words on the page. Benedict's monologue. He tried to use the suggestions Remus had given him, and had a moment of guilt on stage. Remus would have loved to do this. Remus ate stuff like this up. Instead he'd helped James get ready to audition knowing he wouldn't have the chance. '...I...I--" He realized all that thinking and he couldn't remember where he was in the speech. Everyone was staring, waiting. A couple girls in the audience whispered to one another as James swallowed.

The door in the back creaked open. Someone stepped into the room, the click of heels said that it was a girl and the glint of light on bright red hair indicated it must be Lily. James took a deep breath. "I do spy some marks of love in her," he caught the phrase, did another glance around the room and finished his monologue.

As he came down the steps, there was a round of applause, a few cat calls from Sirius and a glare from Snape, who was now standing in the far right aisle, the faint light in the room catching on his large nose. But Lily was here, so he continued back to his seat.

"Brillant Potter," Sirius said. "Really saved yourself there."

"Yeah, thanks," he said, feeling like two strings were forcing the corners of his mouth up. He couldn't stop smiling if he'd tried. Lily was here. Lily had come. She must have been running late to auditions.

* * *

Lily had promised Hero she would be there to watch. It wasn't fair, since Hero and Bethany had ganged up on her, trying to guilt her into it. It worked. She'd watched the clock as Slugclub went late that afternoon. She wasn't sure about protocol for auditions, but there was no one at the doors, so she tried to quietly slip in the door. The theatre had little light. She felt her way into the closest chair, sitting behind everyone else.

James was on stage. He seemed to be lost for a moment, looking around for someone, something to give him a cue. Like a deer in the headlights. _He's worried_, she thought. Though it was far away, she could tell his shoulders were a little more stooped than his normally confident, defiant stance. He looked more real to Lily in that moment than she thought she'd ever seen him before then. Less planned.

For a moment his eyes travelled to where she sat. Looking right at her. Lily blushed before realizing that was rediculous. For one this was James Potter. Other girls may be taken in by his coy, arrogent smile, but she was beyond that. Second, there was no way he could see her from stage. There was little light where she sat. It was all focused on those presenting their monologues. She looked down at the books in her hand while James finally caught up and continued. She let out a breath she'd been holding.

_Stupid_, she thought to herself. It would serve James Potter right to have a moment of embarrassment. Heaven knows he had provided plenty of embarrassing experiences for others.

She continued to wait, watching one person after another go up on stage. Some shook visibly, others stumbled over their words, while others looked like they were born to act. Hero was one of these. She did beautifully, reading the lines with such emotion that everyone in the room went silent. Lily hoped Bethany had done close to as well, though she didn't know that Bethany could pull something like that off. Sirius and Bethany had practiced in the commons earlier, and while they did well, it was nothing compared to this.

Everyone cheered for Hero as she came off the stage. Lily clapped hard and laughed as Sirius, James and Henry Groud picked her up and tossed her into the air a couple times.

"Please, please, let's have some order," Madame Bouche shouted over the rowdy crowd. Hero was set down and returned to her seat.

Not to be outdone, the Ravenclaws tried to make an ordeal of their fellow classmate, who went next, and the Hufflepuffs whistled loudly for Helen Bower, although she stuttered through half the monologue.

"Severus Snape," Madame Bouche announced. There was a decent amount of applause from the Slytherins, but some laughter coming from around James and Sirius.

Lily looked over at them. "Can you believe it," Sirius said, making a show of rolling in his chair, slapping Bethany's knee (since he couldn't reach his own with her sitting there) and then nudged James. "Hey look... Snivilus must be auditioning for the role of the jackass." Laughter from other students followed.

A couple Gryffindor students laughed, but James seemed to be staying put. That wasn't like him. Lily leaned forward in her chair. She really shouldn't stay. She needed to get through at least half a scroll for her potions essay tonight. Not to mention she wanted to get onto some extra research at the library on healing.

It was like a curse as Snape started. She couldn't move for want to support and yet she wanted to leave. To escape anything to do with Severus.

He started out just fine. A piece from _Tempest_ if she remembered correctly. He wasn't spectacular, but better than some who had come out.

Sirius could be heard throughout, guffawing or making side comments. Between some lines, Severus glared towards them. The hate seemed to seep from his eyes. He looked almost frightening. It made Lily shutter to think that her friend could have altered so much in so short a time. She knew he never liked James and Sirius--or most Gryffindors for that matter-- but he'd never looked at anyone like that. Like a simple thought could destroy them where they stood.

Sirius was nudging James. "Look, look at how his hair shimmers. Extra greasy tonight."

James shrugged his friend's arm. "Knock it off," he said.

Lily looked back to Severus. The initial stance had changed to one of getting through something awful. He wasn't acting anymore, but instead making a recitation. He finished and received a polite applause from everyone except the Gryffindors-- some of who were still mocking Severus as he came down the steps. James and Sirius weren't among them. They seemed to be in some sort of argument. For a fleeting moment, Lily's heart lifted. Maybe James was sticking up for Severus.

_What a stupid thought_.

She'd stayed far too long already. Before the applause died down, Lily stood, left and made her way over to the library.

* * *

"It was probably all in your head," Remus said as he walked along side James and Sirius before dinner.

"Probably all in your head, Prongs," Sirius added, with toss of a rock into the lake. He was still angry for being told off. "You know, imagining things. Only way to explain your mental reaction toward the greasy git." He threw another rock.

Remus ignored him. "I don't like him any more than you do," James protested. "That doesn't mean we have to act like apes every time we see him." _Or Lily sees us_, he added in his mind. He still hadn't told them the part of Lily's deal to not make fun of Snape. It had been too much to ask, he was sure. Did she not see how awful the hooked nose sleeze was to almost every Gryffindor? He sneered as he passed any of them. Didn't she notice?

"Hey, hey!"

All three of them turned to see Nigel, dragging his broom along as he ran towards them. He'd become a sort of Marauder protege. He tagged along in the commons and Sirius had taken a real liking to him. James imagined Nigel was more like the little brother Sirius wished he had. A little minion, to go around and do his bidding.

"Snivillus at three o'clock," he whispered as he came close enough to be heard. Sirius whipped his head around and James looked over. Sure enough, Snape was sulking, leaning up against the trunk of a tree.

"Good work Nigel," Sirius said, ruffling his hair a bit. "We'll make a marauder of you yet."

Sirius started over towards him. "Come on, Padfoot," James said, catching up to him. "Let's just go play some Quidditch."

Sirius didn't even glance back. "Why hello, Snivillus," Sirius said. Nigel was following close behind him.

"You," James said, grabbing his arm, "stay back. Sirius--"

"Nice try at acting today." Sirius jerked his arm out of James' grasp. "Who taught you such skill? Your dear da?"

Save a tensing in his jaw, Snape remained impassive, looking to the right, following the edge of the lake. James followed the direction of his eyes. Sitting just on the nearby bank, out in the sun with a stack of books nearby was Lily, her hair pulled into a ponytail on the side. James got a sinking feeling, then a sudden urge to curse Snape into oblivion. He had no right to stand there looking at Lily like that.

"Sirius, let's get going," Remus said, though he was still standing back. Sirius glanced towards Lily, then back to Snape.

Sirius got closer to Snape's ear. "What makes you think someone like Lily would ever want to come near a git like you?"

"Sirius!" Remus said.

"Oh how noble," Snape said in a slow, bored sneer. "Don't bother to pretend you care, Lupin. Dumbledore isn't even around to reward the effort."

Sirius pulled his wand.

"Stop," James said, giving Sirius a shove back from Snape. Snape still didn't move, though he faced the two of them now.

Other students were shouting now, the word duel rang across the lawn.

"Sirius, don't do this," James said. "Let's just go inside."

Sirius had a smirk on his face as he backed up. He turned around.

"It must be nice to have someone pretend to be family, after being blasted from your own."

James could feel Sirius stop. "Just leave it," he whispered. Sirius wasn't in the mood to listen today.

"Better to leave it all behind than to sit in the shadow of others, hoping she'll notice you," Sirius said, turning around. Snape had gone more pale than usual. James noticed his eyes flicker to where Lily was. "She never did like you, you know. How does it feel to be pitied? To know that's the most you'll get from her... pity."

Snape screamed and sent a red blast of light their way. James jumped back while Sirius rebounded it. The curse hit the tree Snape had stood next to moments before. The wood cracked as more students came around to watch.

"Both of you stop this," Remus said, taking out his wand.

"Say out of it, Lupin," Snape sneered. "I'm a prefect too. How about a detention for Sirius and Potter here."

About five Gryffindors made shouts of protests at once, most lost amid the general noise of the crowd. Sirius rebuttled with a hex, which Snape dodged by inches. Spells started flying, James trying to pull Sirius out of the fray, just to have him push James back and continue to cast another jinx or hex.

"Stop it!" Remus tried to yell over the crowd, but continued to be drowned out.

"I better be careful, or I might do what your brother is aching to do for himself," Snape shouted, just as James had Sirius distracted.

This time James didn't wait for Sirius to respond, he sent a curse himself. A flash of gold flung itself towards Snape, which he returned straight back. Sirius ducked to the right while James dodged the other way. Students moved quickly until finally one couldn't move quickly enough. Nigel, who had been in the midst of the crowd, was hit square in the chest.

He fell to the ground, sprawled out and pale. James looked back at Snape who was already stepping away. Sirius looked shocked and everyone else turned into a sea of chaos.

James was the first of the three to move towards Nigel. He looked awful: ghastly pale and with every muscle twitching.

"Nigel," James said his name, falling down next to him, grabbing his arm like it could make it stop moving so much. "Nigel!"

Remus was now at Nigel's head, holding it and Sirius was at his feet. Another person was coming forward. James looked up and Lily was at Nigel's other side, looking determined as she held her wand out, following the length of Nigel's torso, then his legs muttering under her breath. Up one side and then the other.

Nigel's body slowly relented, going limp instead of twitching until it stopped all together. "Get him to the hospital wing," Lily instructed.

All three of them lifted Nigel quickly, finding a balance in holding him up as Lily led the way, shouting at people who were getting in the way gawking. She threw open the doors with a wave of her wand and they continued up the stairs. James felt sick as he caught a look at Nigel while adjusting his grasp. He'd done this. Nigel was just doing as they asked and he'd come out the worst in it all.

* * *

Nurse Truman ordered them out immediately. Lily turned, too sick to look at any of them. Right now she just wanted to go hide away in the library. Find a corner no one knew about and hide. She'd leave her books on the lawn until the morning.

"Lily," James called after her. "Lily, wait a minute."

She walked faster. "Why, so you can ask me out again? Now's not exactly a good time for that."

"No, wait," James said, cutting her off in her tracks. "No, that was amazing. How did you know what to do?"

"I read, James," she snapped. "You know, something besides hexes and miserable good for nothing spells that--"

"Oh yes, how easily you neglect to see Snivillus doing the same thing."

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped past him, walking again towards the library. "What I fail to comprehend is how he has anything to do with what you choose."

"And I'm supposed to just sit there while he insults my friends?"

"You're supposed to stay away! The whole lot of you hover around each other picking fights. You're no better than Severus!" Lily turned around to face him. James stopped in surprise. "You-- you good for nothing, cowardly sheep of a human being! You are a slimy toe rag that masquerades as some god send to the world. You know where it's going to get you?" She pointed down the hall towards the hospital wing. "Hurting those who idolize you for no descent-- "

"Miss Evans," a voice echoed down the corridor.

Lily stopped, turning to the end of the hall where Madame Bouche stood with acouple students Lily recognized from the auditions. She swallowed. How loud had she been? Anger turned to embarrassment and back into fury at James for ever putting her in this situation to begin with.

"Miss Evans," Madame Bouche said again. "Please follow me."

With one last glare at James, Lily followed the professor, hoping she only had a chance to land James and Sirius in a month of detentions with her.

* * *

A/N: I'm alive!!! Sorry everyone for leaving you hanging for like... ever. School got the best of me, but I'll keep my promise of updating quickly with ten reviews. I'm going to have to extend that promise to within two weeks, but I will find time if you just find a moment to review :)


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